Once upon a time, TV super-producer Ryan Murphy was very good at his job. Shows like Glee, American Horror Story, and American Crime Story were massive cultural touchstones. He’s won six Emmys on his own and received 39 nominations, and was inducted into the Television Academy Hall of Fame just this year. He, at one point, theoretically knew what good TV looked like. But All’s Fair, the new “legal” “drama” starring Kim Kardashian alongside some actually talented actresses, is proof that he’s lost his touch. And maybe his grasp on reality.
The new Hulu series, launching with three episodes today, feels like a fever dream, a peek into an alternate universe occupied by creatures who might look vaguely human but do not speak or act as you and I do. They preen. They pose. They say things like “There are rumors about you… I started them” and “Maybe her need for revenge… was unstoppable.” The goal might have been camp. But camp’s supposed to be fun.
All’s Fair begins with a prologue in which lawyers Allura Grant (Kardashian) and Liberty Ronson (Naomi Watts) have gotten tired of “the boys’ club” at their firm, deciding to start their own shop focusing on divorce cases. They bring investigator Emerald Greene (Niecy Nash-Betts) along with them, and ten years later, business is thriving. Their speciality: Helping women trapped by iron-clad prenups get their due.
These very rich women with very believable names live in beautiful homes, wear beautiful clothes, and are partnered with beautiful men. Things aren’t perfect, of course — Allura’s husband Chase (Matthew Noszka) is quickly revealed to be a cheater, while Liberty is insecure about the age gap between her and her younger boyfriend (The Handmaid’s Tale’s O-T Fagbenle). Glenn Close is also here, as a mentor to the other lawyers whose own husband (Ed O’Neill) is fighting cancer.
And when Allura and Liberty left their previous firm, they left behind fellow lawyer Carrington Lane (Sarah Paulson), who has spent the last ten years being pissed about that and wanting revenge. Her primary tools of vengeance: Mean words, taking on Allura’s cheating husband as a client, and sending an edible arrangement to the ladies covered in poop.
As you might guess from reading the above, this is one of those shows where every actor on screen, with one or two exceptions, would probably get recognized while walking down the street. Grace Gummer is the featured client in the first episode. Judith Light, Elizabeth Berkley Lauren, Rick Springfield, and Hari Nef all guest star. Even a thankless one-scene role gets handed to E from Entourage! All of these people, of their own free will, chose to be a part of this show. One can only assume they weren’t shown the scripts in advance. Because the alternative is that they never learned how to read.
That’s the power of Murphy as a producer, a man whose success owes a lot to his relationships — nearly all of the actors listed above have appeared in at least one or two other Murphy projects, with Nash-Betts and Paulson amongst his most frequent collaborators. For their loyalty, they’re rewarded with regular work and awards acclaim: Paulson has earned seven Emmy nominations, winning one, for her work on Murphy shows; Nash-Betts just won her first Emmy in 2023 for her work in Murphy’s Dahmer – Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story.
Murphy never wrote a single episode of the American Crime Story anthology series, his most critically acclaimed show to date — Crime Story seasons were overseen by other writers like Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski and Tom Rob Smith, with Murphy occasionally directing. But even the past shows where he did lead the writing had a little more coherency to them. Meanwhile, for All’s Fair, Murphy co-created the series with Jon Robin Baitz and Joe Baken and is a credited co-writer on the first three episodes. It confirms that he’s lost whatever ability he once had to ground his writing in relatable human emotions — these scripts feel like the bad first drafts of a cheap soap opera, with none of the enjoyable punch that comes from that genre.
Each episode ostensibly features a case of the week, but unlike an actually functional procedural, the cases in question are largely a backdrop to lukewarm personal drama. Scenes stretch on way too long, riddled with cliches. No episode is longer than 45 minutes, which is theoretically a blessing, but also speaks to how fundamentally little the show has to say, or how little it reflects anything authentic about today’s society.
And if the show’s a fantasy, it’s certainly a fantasy I have no interest in having. Consider the five-minute cold open for Episode 3, “I Want Revenge,” which is literally just our core ensemble cast sitting at a fancy lunch and talking about various types of “self-care.” A fancy massage followed by masturbation is the least extreme option — the focus of the conversation is on fillers made with salmon sperm and NAD IV therapy and “vaginal PRP” (I Googled it, it’s real, I regret everything).
It’s all capped off with Glenn Close’s character’s words of wisdom: “My secret for staying young? Keeping up with all of you. I love you.” Girl power!
Kardashian does a good job of not looking into the camera when she says her lines, but her ability to communicate real emotion on screen simply isn’t there. She does, however, get a wild moment in the second episode where she goes full Lemonade on a car. In a true triumph of originality and creativity, she wears a long yellow dress. (It’s Doja Cat’s “Paint the Town Red” on the soundtrack, though.)
All’s Fair (Hulu)
As for the actual actors, they’re all trying valiantly with the increasingly bizarre monologues they’re given (Close has one particularly horny speech in Episode 2), but there’s really nothing you can do with writing this bad. It’s most frustrating to see someone like Teyana Taylor be wasted here: She’s been a clear star since her breakout role in A Thousand and One, a powerful force in this year’s One Battle After Another, and I wish it were possible to take more pleasure in her getting a big splashy project like this.
There’s an actually good legal drama starring Glenn Close streaming on Hulu, if you’re interested: Damages had its ups and downs, but it also had Rose Byrne and a killer first season. As for All’s Fair, it doesn’t quite hit the threshold of being an enjoyable hate-watch. It’s more just a baffling exercise in wasting the time of everyone involved, each moment generating a new set of questions.
Like, how many wigs does Allura have? Because the length of her hair changes on a scene-by-scene basis, with no explanation as to why. It’s the sort of sloppy touch that showcases just how little thought went into throwing this show together, ultimately an exercise in shallowness. A show that might look expensive — but is cheap in all the ways that actually matter.
The first three episodes of All’s Fair are streaming now on Hulu.
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